Drinking, Driving & Daiquiris

I guess when you live in a state where your senator is known as "Diaper Dave", they have to do SOMETHING to numb the masses...

Yes, you are reading that correctly. You can legally buy an alcoholic drink in a drive thru in the state of Louisiana. Cuz nothing goes with gun racks in the rear window like a nice frosty Bahama Mama right? 

There is some confusion over just what constitutes an  "open container" but the general rule seems to be as long as the straw isn't in the cup when they hand it to you in the window and you don't insert it once you get it, you're ok. There is some debate about the whole wrapped/unwrapped straw issue but you can't get a straight answer from anyone in law enforcement.

Which is why when I need my daiquiri fix while driving, I just take the lid off to avoid the headaches.

Would You Like Fries With That??

I've always had a saying...


"Just because you do something for a living, doesn't mean you do it well"


That's true no matter what occupation you apply it to. However, for the purposes of this blog, I'm going to narrow my focus to my own particular area of expertise...


The restaurant/bar biz. 


My very first job was working the drive-thru at a McDonald's when I was in my early teens. Since everyone has to start somewhere, I figured why not start at the bottom. I wish I could say that Mickey D's taught me about work ethics but frankly, all I can remember is that orange soda was the best thing to clean grease off of a flat top grill. 


It must've been the lure of all that free food & unlimited sodas that hooked me, because even though I passed thru the "Golden Arches" onto bigger & better, I have been "in the biz" ever since.  As far as careers go, I wouldn't recommend it to everyone. People with drug addictions & anger management issues should probably consider something less stressful...like perhaps law enforcement. 


But for those with ability to endure enormous amounts of abuse and ridicule from people one generation away from walking upright, all while maintaining your sense of humor & sanity, the rewards can be worth it. And by rewards, 
I mean MONEY.


You don't think I'm going to put up with screaming kids, egotistical chefs, and sore feet for nothing do you?? Hell no! This bitch is gonna get PAID! And I DO. Cash every night, along with a paycheck every week. But it's an even trade-off for all the bullshit that comes from dealing with pissy guests & asshole managers. And let me tell you right now, you take your worst boss, multiply by 10, and that's your average restaurant manager.
(Something I will delve into on upcoming posts.)


The purpose of THIS initial blog post is simply to get started somewhere...


In my younger days, after a 10hr shift dealing with people who shouldn't be allowed to eat in public without supervision, my fellow prisoners & I would head to the nearest pub where we would proceed to partake of cold Jager while singing Queen ballads off-key. We'd rehash the evening without the watchful eyes and listening ears of trolling managers & tattle-tales. The antics and demands of the general public never cease to amaze, amuse, & annoy us..


But since I'm starting to feel like the mature adult I resemble, the liver just isn't what it used to be and more productive ways of venting were sought.


Yoga was out on account of the whole needing to be limber issue. You're talking to someone that has a lazy susan on my coffee table so I don't have to stretch.


Not real big on the whole therapy angle either. The idea of paying someone to listen to me complain seems silly when my dog does it for free. 



Hence this blog. 


As time goes on, I will not only be sharing current events, but favorite stories from the past. Working at one of the hottest restaurants in New Orleans means I have a LOT to blog about and some juicy tidbits about the celebrities that pop in on a weekly basis. Not to mention the friends I know who are also "in the biz" with cool stories of their own to blab about.


Just so you know, you may never look at restaurant staff the same again...


(But even if nobody reads it, my liver just gave a huge sigh of relief...)